Tag Archive: anistark


The Illusion of Choice

Choices

It’s one those nights when you think everything is going haywire. You realise you can’t control everything. But you hope you can control somethings. And you are not wrong. You can control somethings. But everything else is unplanned, uncalled for and will be left unattended. Why you ask? Why because you’re too scared to do one thing that you promised yourself that you’ll never do. Never Give Up!!

Not so easy when shit hits the fan. You realise this is not what you wanted to do. Why are you even doing this? Why are you here? I did not see myself sitting here writing this article at this part of the city or even in this city at this odd hour alone and with my guitar and coffee. What changed? Where did I lose my path and end up here? the answer is simple really. We just are sometimes too scared to acknowledge our fate that we keep believing in something that never existed. Want to know what it is? “Choice”. We really don’t have a choice. It’s all predefined by the master programmer who coded every single bone and cell and we know of. It’s just an illusion of choice that we face everyday of our life. Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you mate. I don’t believe me. But it’s true nonetheless.

Let’s go back to what you decided on when you were little. What did you imagine you would be doing when you grew up? Pilot, Policeman, Doctor, Race driver, Cricket or Football player, dancer, singer? Well, and what are you doing right now? Of course, right now you’re reading this piece of article, trying to find a connection or trying to defy one. Either way, irrelevant. You’re probably finishing up with your chores that you never planned on doing. You’re tired and looking out desperately towards the world outside for someone to come and rescue you. Probably thinking of going to that job again tomorrow or probably you’re reading at your job, in which case your condition is more severe than you might realise. But let’s not stand on ceremony here. We’re all doing something or the other that we didn’t think we would doing. I for once, wanted to travel the world when I was a kid. But also, wanted to code. Yes, I planned it all out. I looked out for the satellite phones. I saw this movie Incredible Hulk, and saw Bruce use a umbrella antenna to connect to internet. And I knew I gotta have this for when I’ll be travelling. I pass out of college at 22. I’ll do some job for 2 years, and by the time I hit 25, I’ll leave everything and start travelling. I’ll work remotely to earn money meanwhile while travelling. I don’t want to run away from my work. I like what I do. I just can’t stick to a single place. It bores the shit out of me. I have to travel. I must.

That was the plan.. Guess what I’m doing? Most of what I planned came true. I worked it all out.. Except for the most important part. I kinda settled now at this place. Bangalore. I love this city. But even the best city to live in on this country now feels like suffocation. Couple of months ago, it got bad. I thought to myself, that I need to escape this. So, I took off. Went to this beech town called Goa. Stayed their for couple of days. Roamed around the town. Met some interesting people. Saw pretty old buildings and suddenly, I felt revived. I felt like I’m back in action. And I restarted my engine and started working again. This time, I was killing it actually. I started talking better, communicating better, even was faster in grasping new tech and knowledge came quicker. Maybe it’s an illusion, but it felt good. I felt good. I thought this is what I needed. A break from monotonous life-style. So, every few months, I can take a break and go some place and relax. Come back and work again. Solid Plan. I made my choice. And there’s where I went wrong again.

Each time we think we make a choice, the time-stream is supposed to change. It essentially might just create an alternate reality or dimension of existence where we live with each of our choices. But if so, we would by now have infinite number of universes. We make choices every moment. Should I eat that last piece of pizza or let some else take it for a change? Should I wear blue or green today? Shirt or T-shirt? Jeans or Cargo? Take my bike or walk to office? Text my crush or wait for her to text back? Reply to that lunatic or let it be? Be rude to the ignorant kid or politely explain? And so on and on and on.. Infinite number of choices we make each moment. And that’s what might created an infinite number of universes. But if so, our master programmer here, might be facing with a space crunch. The power to keep each universes separate would increase. Scalability issues. Of course our master programmer wouldn’t be facing such issues not because in an infinite space, infinite number of universes wouldn’t have the problem. But because that’s not even a problem. We just think we have a choice to make, when in real we already have one. We already know we are going to wear a blue t-shirt and jeans, take the bike, eat that last slice of pizza and text first. We just realise it so much later and call the dramatic pause process as choice. Is it really a choice or are we living exactly in a matrix unable to break-free?

Maybe our Morpheus and Neo got lost in the matrix too. Or maybe we all took the red pill. Or maybe the matrix might just be too powerful to break-free from. So, how do we really break free?
Do we ever break free?
I read somewhere.. The only way out, is through.. Does that mean we accept our fate truly and only then we would be allowed to attain truly to our free will?

Some questions we really don’t know what’s going on with. Do we now? We just have to do our part and hope for the outcomes to our way.. But some outcomes are already there. Knocking continuously on the door.. Open it. Take that chance. Jump from our seat.. Grab the door and walk straight out right now.. You’re free. You just don’t realise it yet..

 

 

 

 

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Dare to Dream?

Dreams come in various forms. Not just some goal you want to achieve. Not just any place you want to visit. Not just someone you want to becomedreams_quote_4. It can be as big as becoming the president or next real life superhero, to getting to that one special person who have wanted all your life.

Really, just think, why did we start dreaming in the first place? Why do we imagine weird stuffs in our dreams? Why even do we have to run away or towards certain things the way we do? There has to be a reason behind all this. Of course there is. It’s all our subconscious mind playing nasty tricks on us. Telling us what we don’t have the guts to accept. Asking us to forget everyone and think about ourselves for one tiny moment. Let everything go and pursue your own one piece. However, we don’t do that.  Instead, we get up and do what needs to be done, regardless of what we want to do. We have become so headstrong and adamant on things that we can’t handle the little things that we can otherwise.

When did we step out that childish dream pursuer and step into these adult boots that weighs down on us? When did we stop listening to our own hearts and start hearing other people’s nonsense? When did we start becoming the person we once swore we shall never become? I’ll tell you when. It’s when we gave up on our dreams. You can dream of world peace or being the richest man or getting together with your dream girl even. But you will not get it, unless you have actually started working for it. Maybe you are doing what you can, but it might or not might not work. We need to have that reality check in life and get to our dreams by asserting to our goals whenever we can. Someday, you might make your own stand. So, let that day be today. Even if your dream personifies and tells you it can’t be done, you should be that adamant and head strong to make it happen. Nobody else will come to your dream rescue. Everyone is busy fulfilling their own goals. Let’s gear up and get to work. For a day wasted in dreaming to achieve that dream, is another day wasted in not having it. And if you have no dream, wait for it. We don’t go searching our dreams, our dreams come to us. Make sure you recognise them, before it’s too late. 

As for me, I’ve started working to my dream. Whatever life has in it’s arms, I’ll gladly accept it. And I’ll cherish it for the rest of my life. I’m certain of what I want, and I’ll have it in due time eventually and most definitely. And if by chance, I can’t have it, well, then it was worth dying in trying to have it.. Right? 

A dream thirst can only be fulfilled with the dream itself. 

Ciao..

The 4th of December

run run run

run run run


Woke up early morning,
thought I heard my alarm ringing,
excitement it was that’s singing,
only one song in my head pinging.

Had a few biscuit bites,
packed away my stuff as per my might,
locked away the doors and windows tight,
walked to the bus stop in the morning light.

Waited for the bus while making plans of kol,
Called the cab when that seemed off the poll,
Bangalore traffic took on quite a toll,
Reached the airport with minutes to goal.

The counter attendant denied the boarding,
Had the convince her with my own risk taking,
Had to convince the queue that my flight was leaving,
Made it in flight only to realise how good I’m at running.

Hunger and thirst almost took my life,
In-front of me was only the Business Times,
Got stuck in between two sleeping girls,
Jeffery Archer do comes to the rescue of all of us.

Found taxi went on a two day strike,
Buses were slow and time was flying like a kite,
Reached to meet the bday girl riding the tide,
Special lunch with food and the company was a delight.

Went strolling with my best friend in EcoPark,
Such peace fell upon us with the fall of the dark,
Alas, had to leave cause of the train to embark,
But the day had made it’s unfathomable mark.

The last ride of the day slowly chatted on,
Asked the cabbie to do me a favour and step on,
Ran across the station to the platform and jumped on,
Almost missed yet again as I ran on.

 — The invincible runner

My new Tech blog

From now on, all my geeky posts would come up on <\> Solitary Pusuits but other posts will continue on here. So, if you are looking for my newer techy posts, visit the link given. 😀

 

http://anistark.github.io/blog/

 

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