Category: AniLife


The big fuss

I wonder if you ever stepped on grass,
and not think twice, over the burnt brass.
I wonder if the metal clashed each other,
and not be heard, to the harbinger.
I wonder if the earth took it’s last breadth,
and not be welcomed in, by the death.
I wonder if the builder will ever destroy merrily,
the very thing, that he built so dearly.

I wonder if there ever was a God,
to whom you, would actually nod.
I wonder if instant gratification really pays,
or have you been praying to anyone, who openly says.
I wonder if in this life or the next,
your wishes come true, through my text.
I wonder if I really have known what you want,
or would you rather have me try, a different font.

I wonder what to believe in and not be seen,
for there can be only one right answer, to come clean.
I wonder if you will forgive me for all that I have been,
or would you have me burnt down, through the pain of my sin.
I wonder what might have made you say those words,
maybe someday even the trees will ask, for the birds.
I wonder if our deaths will be as meaningless,
as was the lives we lived, nothing but a big mess.

For if you have ever wondered about any of these,
come let’s find the answers, with a slice of cheese.
Maybe together we can fulfil each other’s desires,
and let the false world, keep calling us liars.
For you would know me and I would know you,
sitting on top of the mountain, enjoying the heavenly view.
There they go again fighting and squabbling like us,
Wouldn’t they too take forever, to know what was all the big fuss.
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Into the Abyss

Drowning
They said it all, for they were the first to say it
Don’t do this, that, and manipulated the way to do it
Do this and this again, for this is the way to exist
Whatever happens next will be anything but candlelit

But have you ever nodded at the grim and not freaked
Have you ever looked into the abyss and not blinked
Have you ever gone beyond and not shipwrecked
Have you ever seen love and not be tricked

For them I say, if I say so myself at all

Don’t do it for the people sitting to critique
Don’t do it for the words only written to your memento
Don’t do it cause someone just asked you to be unique
Don’t do it for anybody less than the woman you are into

Do it, for that is the right thing to
Do it, for that will set you free in ways you never expected to
Do it, for the crying lamenting cheer that comes through
Do it, for it is what you are always meant to do

Whatever we ever said for all the long lost art that was left behind
Whatever we never said for the coffee sitting cold in the corner of the bistro that died
Whatever we ever hoped for the date we wished for and turned to go
Whatever we never felt for all the people who felt right on vertigo

For if this is all that I say to you
I would rather say it none, but pray for you
For if that might not workout as we believe it to
We would at least have us, still hoping someday, to run again into

Take my words, my songs and my soul
Take it all, for to me they are but a diary of foul
Take my hand, and I will be utterly grateful
Take my soul, and I will be at last, peaceful

 

The Illusion of Choice

Choices

It’s one those nights when you think everything is going haywire. You realise you can’t control everything. But you hope you can control somethings. And you are not wrong. You can control somethings. But everything else is unplanned, uncalled for and will be left unattended. Why you ask? Why because you’re too scared to do one thing that you promised yourself that you’ll never do. Never Give Up!!

Not so easy when shit hits the fan. You realise this is not what you wanted to do. Why are you even doing this? Why are you here? I did not see myself sitting here writing this article at this part of the city or even in this city at this odd hour alone and with my guitar and coffee. What changed? Where did I lose my path and end up here? the answer is simple really. We just are sometimes too scared to acknowledge our fate that we keep believing in something that never existed. Want to know what it is? “Choice”. We really don’t have a choice. It’s all predefined by the master programmer who coded every single bone and cell and we know of. It’s just an illusion of choice that we face everyday of our life. Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you mate. I don’t believe me. But it’s true nonetheless.

Let’s go back to what you decided on when you were little. What did you imagine you would be doing when you grew up? Pilot, Policeman, Doctor, Race driver, Cricket or Football player, dancer, singer? Well, and what are you doing right now? Of course, right now you’re reading this piece of article, trying to find a connection or trying to defy one. Either way, irrelevant. You’re probably finishing up with your chores that you never planned on doing. You’re tired and looking out desperately towards the world outside for someone to come and rescue you. Probably thinking of going to that job again tomorrow or probably you’re reading at your job, in which case your condition is more severe than you might realise. But let’s not stand on ceremony here. We’re all doing something or the other that we didn’t think we would doing. I for once, wanted to travel the world when I was a kid. But also, wanted to code. Yes, I planned it all out. I looked out for the satellite phones. I saw this movie Incredible Hulk, and saw Bruce use a umbrella antenna to connect to internet. And I knew I gotta have this for when I’ll be travelling. I pass out of college at 22. I’ll do some job for 2 years, and by the time I hit 25, I’ll leave everything and start travelling. I’ll work remotely to earn money meanwhile while travelling. I don’t want to run away from my work. I like what I do. I just can’t stick to a single place. It bores the shit out of me. I have to travel. I must.

That was the plan.. Guess what I’m doing? Most of what I planned came true. I worked it all out.. Except for the most important part. I kinda settled now at this place. Bangalore. I love this city. But even the best city to live in on this country now feels like suffocation. Couple of months ago, it got bad. I thought to myself, that I need to escape this. So, I took off. Went to this beech town called Goa. Stayed their for couple of days. Roamed around the town. Met some interesting people. Saw pretty old buildings and suddenly, I felt revived. I felt like I’m back in action. And I restarted my engine and started working again. This time, I was killing it actually. I started talking better, communicating better, even was faster in grasping new tech and knowledge came quicker. Maybe it’s an illusion, but it felt good. I felt good. I thought this is what I needed. A break from monotonous life-style. So, every few months, I can take a break and go some place and relax. Come back and work again. Solid Plan. I made my choice. And there’s where I went wrong again.

Each time we think we make a choice, the time-stream is supposed to change. It essentially might just create an alternate reality or dimension of existence where we live with each of our choices. But if so, we would by now have infinite number of universes. We make choices every moment. Should I eat that last piece of pizza or let some else take it for a change? Should I wear blue or green today? Shirt or T-shirt? Jeans or Cargo? Take my bike or walk to office? Text my crush or wait for her to text back? Reply to that lunatic or let it be? Be rude to the ignorant kid or politely explain? And so on and on and on.. Infinite number of choices we make each moment. And that’s what might created an infinite number of universes. But if so, our master programmer here, might be facing with a space crunch. The power to keep each universes separate would increase. Scalability issues. Of course our master programmer wouldn’t be facing such issues not because in an infinite space, infinite number of universes wouldn’t have the problem. But because that’s not even a problem. We just think we have a choice to make, when in real we already have one. We already know we are going to wear a blue t-shirt and jeans, take the bike, eat that last slice of pizza and text first. We just realise it so much later and call the dramatic pause process as choice. Is it really a choice or are we living exactly in a matrix unable to break-free?

Maybe our Morpheus and Neo got lost in the matrix too. Or maybe we all took the red pill. Or maybe the matrix might just be too powerful to break-free from. So, how do we really break free?
Do we ever break free?
I read somewhere.. The only way out, is through.. Does that mean we accept our fate truly and only then we would be allowed to attain truly to our free will?

Some questions we really don’t know what’s going on with. Do we now? We just have to do our part and hope for the outcomes to our way.. But some outcomes are already there. Knocking continuously on the door.. Open it. Take that chance. Jump from our seat.. Grab the door and walk straight out right now.. You’re free. You just don’t realise it yet..

 

 

 

 

The complicated response

Life. It’s so complicated. Right? Makes us question our simple decisions. Even the ones that we think don’t matter. What if we were to choose differently. What if we chose the chicken instead of pork or to watch cricket instead of chelsea match. How does it even affect all our judgements and in turn our life? How on earth are we supposed to know what is right to do and what is not. We can’t even decide which shirt to put on in the morning before office. We can’t decide weather to listen to Blink 182 or Black Sabbath. How on earth are we supposed to recognise the right from wrong? The ultimate truth from the ultimate remorse. The fallen with the enlightened.

So many question haunting us each day. Right? And most of it we are still wondering on ur heads even now. How can we know make sure what to even think and what to ignore and move on in life. Well, life is a complicated thing after all. Maybe we are not supposed to figure out everything after all. Maybe we will know when it’s time to know. And we will act when it’s time to act accordingly. We might just step into the someone else’s shoes and act unnaturally for a while. Try filling the eternal void with things and people who don’t belong there. But eventually someone somehow will come and rescue us. We all have someone we can rely on. May it be the dad , mom, sister, brother, lover, or the dearest of friend. But then again, what if we don’t recognise whom to rely on. Quite disturbing, isn’t it?

Freedom to Think can sometimes be contagious

Freedom to Think can sometimes be contagious

How about we don’t think of anything. The good. The bad. None of it. What then? Will we cease to exist? Will the distractions and need of ours suddenly change? Will be gather enough courage to let go? I guess we won’t. Humans by nature tend to return to the thing they want the most. Even when they don’t know that they want it. So, Let’s step back a while and reflect upon the last 2 years of our lives. What were we doing? Who were in our life? Are they still there? Who left? Whom we left? Why? Who came? Who stayed? Who cared? Who tried using us? If you can answer all the questions of those correctly, maybe your life ain’t that messed up as mine.. But let’s pretend we all are sitting on the same boat anyway. Would you tell me the answers to all of those? Or would you just ignore that and move on with what it is you were doing? Don’t ignore.. Not yet at least. We are not done yet. There still are a million and more questions unanswered. Are you curious enough to ask me to ask you to answer them? Maybe not. But you do want to know the questions. Right? That is the basic of what we have become now. We don’t listen others to understand the gravity of the situation or to understand what the person means. We simple listen to others because we need to respond. We’ve programmed our brains to respond to anything and everything coming from everything and anyone no matter if it matters or not. Because we ultimately do not think about what matters anymore. Let’s turn the page up and read again of where we started of from.. It all matters.

So, lets all take a moment to grasp the dire need of the situation and analyse what has been the most thoughtless moment of the day. You are devising a response to all that read right now. What if I told you, Scratch that off. We don’t need a reply here. All we need to think of what we are doing with our lives right now. 

I’ll give you some space to think.. Let me know what you thought.. 

Oh wait! That would be a response….. 😉

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