Category: AniLife


So long

5

 

Can you hear me weep
From this hole so deep
I’ve dug my path
To the world underneath

Can you hold this light
Till I pass out tight
I want to be with you
Till it turns blue

So long, so long
You will cry when I’m gone
But I know you are strong
Let’s drive till it’s dawn

Can you hear me smile
I know it’s been a while
I would sit for hours
to listen your plan of ours

Can you wait for me
Or count to just three
I’d promise I’ll return
If only I could earn

So long, so long
In a world full of wrong
You are my moonlight
This will be our last fight

So long, so long
This battle is now done
Will you keep me
in the midst of your palm

So long, so long
I am now at peace
So don’t worry my love
Stay with your beloved dove

 

 

 

The big fuss

I wonder if you ever stepped on grass,
and not think twice, over the burnt brass.
I wonder if the metal clashed each other,
and not be heard, to the harbinger.
I wonder if the earth took it’s last breadth,
and not be welcomed in, by the death.
I wonder if the builder will ever destroy merrily,
the very thing, that he built so dearly.

I wonder if there ever was a God,
to whom you, would actually nod.
I wonder if instant gratification really pays,
or have you been praying to anyone, who openly says.
I wonder if in this life or the next,
your wishes come true, through my text.
I wonder if I really have known what you want,
or would you rather have me try, a different font.

I wonder what to believe in and not be seen,
for there can be only one right answer, to come clean.
I wonder if you will forgive me for all that I have been,
or would you have me burnt down, through the pain of my sin.
I wonder what might have made you say those words,
maybe someday even the trees will ask, for the birds.
I wonder if our deaths will be as meaningless,
as was the lives we lived, nothing but a big mess.

For if you have ever wondered about any of these,
come let’s find the answers, with a slice of cheese.
Maybe together we can fulfil each other’s desires,
and let the false world, keep calling us liars.
For you would know me and I would know you,
sitting on top of the mountain, enjoying the heavenly view.
There they go again fighting and squabbling like us,
Wouldn’t they too take forever, to know what was all the big fuss.

Into the Abyss

Drowning
They said it all, for they were the first to say it
Don’t do this, that, and manipulated the way to do it
Do this and this again, for this is the way to exist
Whatever happens next will be anything but candlelit

But have you ever nodded at the grim and not freaked
Have you ever looked into the abyss and not blinked
Have you ever gone beyond and not shipwrecked
Have you ever seen love and not be tricked

For them I say, if I say so myself at all

Don’t do it for the people sitting to critique
Don’t do it for the words only written to your memento
Don’t do it cause someone just asked you to be unique
Don’t do it for anybody less than the woman you are into

Do it, for that is the right thing to
Do it, for that will set you free in ways you never expected to
Do it, for the crying lamenting cheer that comes through
Do it, for it is what you are always meant to do

Whatever we ever said for all the long lost art that was left behind
Whatever we never said for the coffee sitting cold in the corner of the bistro that died
Whatever we ever hoped for the date we wished for and turned to go
Whatever we never felt for all the people who felt right on vertigo

For if this is all that I say to you
I would rather say it none, but pray for you
For if that might not workout as we believe it to
We would at least have us, still hoping someday, to run again into

Take my words, my songs and my soul
Take it all, for to me they are but a diary of foul
Take my hand, and I will be utterly grateful
Take my soul, and I will be at last, peaceful

 

The Illusion of Choice

Choices

It’s one those nights when you think everything is going haywire. You realise you can’t control everything. But you hope you can control somethings. And you are not wrong. You can control somethings. But everything else is unplanned, uncalled for and will be left unattended. Why you ask? Why because you’re too scared to do one thing that you promised yourself that you’ll never do. Never Give Up!!

Not so easy when shit hits the fan. You realise this is not what you wanted to do. Why are you even doing this? Why are you here? I did not see myself sitting here writing this article at this part of the city or even in this city at this odd hour alone and with my guitar and coffee. What changed? Where did I lose my path and end up here? the answer is simple really. We just are sometimes too scared to acknowledge our fate that we keep believing in something that never existed. Want to know what it is? “Choice”. We really don’t have a choice. It’s all predefined by the master programmer who coded every single bone and cell and we know of. It’s just an illusion of choice that we face everyday of our life. Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you mate. I don’t believe me. But it’s true nonetheless.

Let’s go back to what you decided on when you were little. What did you imagine you would be doing when you grew up? Pilot, Policeman, Doctor, Race driver, Cricket or Football player, dancer, singer? Well, and what are you doing right now? Of course, right now you’re reading this piece of article, trying to find a connection or trying to defy one. Either way, irrelevant. You’re probably finishing up with your chores that you never planned on doing. You’re tired and looking out desperately towards the world outside for someone to come and rescue you. Probably thinking of going to that job again tomorrow or probably you’re reading at your job, in which case your condition is more severe than you might realise. But let’s not stand on ceremony here. We’re all doing something or the other that we didn’t think we would doing. I for once, wanted to travel the world when I was a kid. But also, wanted to code. Yes, I planned it all out. I looked out for the satellite phones. I saw this movie Incredible Hulk, and saw Bruce use a umbrella antenna to connect to internet. And I knew I gotta have this for when I’ll be travelling. I pass out of college at 22. I’ll do some job for 2 years, and by the time I hit 25, I’ll leave everything and start travelling. I’ll work remotely to earn money meanwhile while travelling. I don’t want to run away from my work. I like what I do. I just can’t stick to a single place. It bores the shit out of me. I have to travel. I must.

That was the plan.. Guess what I’m doing? Most of what I planned came true. I worked it all out.. Except for the most important part. I kinda settled now at this place. Bangalore. I love this city. But even the best city to live in on this country now feels like suffocation. Couple of months ago, it got bad. I thought to myself, that I need to escape this. So, I took off. Went to this beech town called Goa. Stayed their for couple of days. Roamed around the town. Met some interesting people. Saw pretty old buildings and suddenly, I felt revived. I felt like I’m back in action. And I restarted my engine and started working again. This time, I was killing it actually. I started talking better, communicating better, even was faster in grasping new tech and knowledge came quicker. Maybe it’s an illusion, but it felt good. I felt good. I thought this is what I needed. A break from monotonous life-style. So, every few months, I can take a break and go some place and relax. Come back and work again. Solid Plan. I made my choice. And there’s where I went wrong again.

Each time we think we make a choice, the time-stream is supposed to change. It essentially might just create an alternate reality or dimension of existence where we live with each of our choices. But if so, we would by now have infinite number of universes. We make choices every moment. Should I eat that last piece of pizza or let some else take it for a change? Should I wear blue or green today? Shirt or T-shirt? Jeans or Cargo? Take my bike or walk to office? Text my crush or wait for her to text back? Reply to that lunatic or let it be? Be rude to the ignorant kid or politely explain? And so on and on and on.. Infinite number of choices we make each moment. And that’s what might created an infinite number of universes. But if so, our master programmer here, might be facing with a space crunch. The power to keep each universes separate would increase. Scalability issues. Of course our master programmer wouldn’t be facing such issues not because in an infinite space, infinite number of universes wouldn’t have the problem. But because that’s not even a problem. We just think we have a choice to make, when in real we already have one. We already know we are going to wear a blue t-shirt and jeans, take the bike, eat that last slice of pizza and text first. We just realise it so much later and call the dramatic pause process as choice. Is it really a choice or are we living exactly in a matrix unable to break-free?

Maybe our Morpheus and Neo got lost in the matrix too. Or maybe we all took the red pill. Or maybe the matrix might just be too powerful to break-free from. So, how do we really break free?
Do we ever break free?
I read somewhere.. The only way out, is through.. Does that mean we accept our fate truly and only then we would be allowed to attain truly to our free will?

Some questions we really don’t know what’s going on with. Do we now? We just have to do our part and hope for the outcomes to our way.. But some outcomes are already there. Knocking continuously on the door.. Open it. Take that chance. Jump from our seat.. Grab the door and walk straight out right now.. You’re free. You just don’t realise it yet..

 

 

 

 

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